Where I've Been and Hope To Be

Where I've Been and Hope To Be

Friday, August 29, 2014

Cleaner Eating - Part 2

It was my intention to post this second post regarding eating much closer to Part 1, but, as is often the case, life got in the way.  And when life gets in the way of one thing it is often getting in the way of many.  As a result, I've fallen off the food wagon a bit over the last couple of weeks.  While not going on an all out binge, it has meant a snack here, some pizza there, and quick grabs of food that aren't always the smartest choices in an effort to keep moving moving moving.

That being said, I've also been able to reign things in over the last couple of days and get back on track.  The meals that have been the most successful - both for healthy eating and family satisfaction - have come from The Feed Zone Cookbook.  The book was written by a doctor and a chef who have created meals that both fuel athletes, but also taste delicious.  I have to confess, I am spoiled by being married to a retired chef, so he is able to create just about anything we desire.  But classically trained chefs usually prepare meals for taste first, dietary needs second, and Hubby's former methods of cooking contained plenty of deeeeeelicious butter and cream.  These recipes have given him fresh ideas on more waistline friendly food and livened up our dinner table.

The proof of this became even more evident three nights ago.  We had a relatively busy night in store with Big N attending karate class, Hubby at football practice, and me left to use my meager culinary skills to feed the family.  The plan for the kids was hot dogs and chips.  A total phone-it-in dinner.  I was going to find something remotely good for me out of the leftovers in the fridge.  Hot dogs have long been a kid favorite and usually they are met with cheers and requests for second and third helpings.  This week, however, the boys choked them down and then asked if they could have something different.  One asked for cottage cheese.  Another asked for something I can't remember, but what was clear was the hot dog luster was lost.  Taste buds can be trained.  These kids don't want crap anymore after being exposed to yummy whole foods.

So what kinds of foods are in this book?  Here are some samples that we've made along with photos that I take right before I devour my plate.  You are lucky there are photos at all.  In fact, in some instances I got the photo on the second try because the first time we ate it all too quickly.
Peach crisp I actually made myself!

Turkey lettuce wraps

Buffalo and Sweet Potato Tacos (we used ground beef)

Corn Cakes with Crisp Chicken
(this is hands down the overall favorite)

Our only complaint about this book: there are not always enough step by step directions for someone who does not already have some basic, if not advanced, culinary skills.  Hubby has had to take his knowledge of the way things cook (like what happens to yogurt when it gets hot) and tweak the instructions a bit.  I tried a recipe that called for cooked sweet potato and the recipe didn't work at all because I WAY overcooked the sweet potato.  Unfortunately, I didn't know that was a thing and there was no mention of how or how long to cook the sweet potato before incorporating it into the recipe.  That being said, we are big fans of the ingredients and the taste of these recipes and we will just keep making adjustments as necessary.  I really hope they come out with a second book of dinner entrees.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Race Report: Tri the Wildwoods Sprint Triathlon

It's probably a good thing that I didn't hammer this race report out in the days that immediately followed the race.  Because now that I have had time to reflect, I feel completely different about this race than I did earlier in the week.

I registered for this race months ago because some friends were doing it.  AFTER I paid I took a look at the course information (note: check out the course before registration) and realized that it had an ocean swim and a beach run.  What the what???  This led to my dramatic and tearful ocean training while on vacation.

Race morning was beautiful with reasonable temps and a gorgeous sunrise over the ocean.  We arrived in plenty of time to rack my bike near the bike exit and get everything organized in transition. We even had enough time for Hubby to walk back to the car and retrieve the bike pump that we left in the trunk so I could inflate my tires.  I was never feeling rushed or anxious but really excited to get racing.

I was still apprehensive about the ocean swim, but adrenaline and energy took over and my fear of the ocean was gone.  What was not gone was the strength and fortitude needed to fight my way out and through the waves to the first buoy.  The race started about 30 minutes late and I was getting really hot in my wetsuit.  The bodies in the waiting area were tight but everyone stayed calm and the time trial start went off without a hitch.

photo credit Delmo Sports

After what felt like a really long run down the sand, I dove into the ocean and started doing dolphins to get out past the breakers.  There was a fairly large sandbar and the water was incredibly shallow.  I alternated between running through the water and trying to swim.  Neither seemed particularly effective.  Finally I just threw myself in and went for it.  It took FOREVER to get out to that first buoy.  Bodies were everywhere flailing around and getting off course.  I spent as much energy navigating the lost swimmers as I did fighting the waves.  But once I made the left turn to swim with the current I was flying.  I rode the current and passed a ton of people.  I felt calm and strong as I swam toward the final turn buoy and headed toward shore.  For whatever reason, it was harder to swim to shore than I was expecting.  I couldn't seem to catch a wave to ride in.  But when I finally made it in I started toward transition and was taking off my wetsuit as I ran up the beach.  Final swim time for 400 meter ocean swim: 15:04.8.  Even though that's slow for me for a 400, for an ocean swim I was really pleased.

The distance from the swim finish to transition registered on my Garmin as .25 of a mile.  A fairly long barefoot run through some very soft sand.  And now that I had my wetsuit stripped down to my waist, the top, including the full sleeves, was flopping around and making the already difficult run incredibly awkward.  Something to think about in the future: sleeveless wetsuit v. no wetsuit v. keeping the top up until I'm in transition.  I'll marinate on all of that for now.

Transition.  The area where you leave your bike and run gear.  Home base.  Your little sliver of space that is set up your way.  The way you feel comfortable and organized.  There are rules and etiquette to properly racking your bike and setting up your transition area.  Rules that were ignored at this race.  Photo number 1 is how a bike rack in transition should look for the most part.  Photo number 2 is what I came back to after the swim.  My wheel is the one off to the left properly hanging from my rack.

In addition to the bikes just thrown on the ground in front of my transition area, what is not pictured is all of those competitors bags, towels, running gear, etc.  Because I took that picture after the race was over and much of their stuff had been removed.  It was a free for all with stuff everywhere.  I had to straddle the bikes on the ground to put on my cycling shoes and get ready to go out on the bike.  It wasn't the end of the world, but it was far from ideal and mentally I was not prepared for that disaster area.  My transition time was an excruciatingly long 5:56.9.  As I explained to Hubby, it felt like I was in there long enough to cook a gourmet breakfast AND eat it.  But off on the bike I went.

Almost immediately I knew I was going to have an awesome bike leg of the race.  My legs felt primed and ready to rock and roll.  My coach had previewed the bike course and scoped out the one hill.  He had already prepped us on where to let off the gas and where to give it 100% to maximize speed and passing other racers.  It worked flawlessly.  I rocked and rolled and passed a ton of people -  particularly in the spots Coach had said they would slow down if they didn't know what they were doing.  Let me tell you...this man is triathlon genius.  I wish I had kept count of how many people I passed, particularly while going uphill.  I felt unstoppable and enjoyed the hell out of that ride.  Bike time for the 10 miles was 36:05.4 which averages to 16.7 miles an hour, my fastest race pace yet.  (And that was before we realized the next day that my seat needed to be raised and I was gearing incorrectly.  Watch out world - I'm only going to get faster from here.)

Back into transition to get ready for the run.  This time things went a lot smoother, in large part because the pile of bikes was missing as they were out on the race course being ridden.  I made sure I had everything I needed after changing shoes and was off.  Transition 2 time 2:14.0.  Still unacceptably slow, but improved from T1.

And that's it!  The race is over!  It was fantastic, amazing....wait....the run?  Oh yeah.  I was hoping you wouldn't notice if I left it out.  Let me be honest.  I dislike the run.  Strongly dislike.  And my foot had been bothering me for a couple of weeks aggravated all the more by the barefoot sand running earlier.  But I headed out, through the very soft sand again, to get to the packed sand that would be the course for the first 1.5 miles of the run leg of the race.

Hubby and Big T were waiting down on the sand to cheer me on and high five as I got started.  Hubs snapped this picture just as I was saying something.  Probably something along the lines of "is it over yet?"  But onward I trudged.  And one by one, the women that I had flown by on the bike picked me off as they ran down the beach.  Once again I got to see the backs of their racing kits, but instead of getting closer and then going behind me, they were getting smaller and smaller in the distance in front of me.  This is the most difficult and demoralizing part of the whole triathlon for me.  I remember it clearly happening at Kinetic as well.  To have made all of that progress on the bike only to lose it and then some on the run just makes it really hard to keep a good attitude as my body is screaming at me to stop.

So what did I do?  I stopped.  Regretfully, as the first 1.5 miles were done and it was time to cross over the soft sand and up the ramp to the boardwalk I did what I haven't done in a 5K in years.  I felt sorry for myself and started to walk.  My attitude at this point was terrible and I just kind of threw in the towel.  Once I was up on the boardwalk I thought the wood surface would lend a little spring to my step, but I was wrong.  Instead my mental game got even worse noticing every pizza and ice cream joint on the strip.  The run took us through the not yet open carnival rides at Morey's Pier and the contrast between the race and the rides was just odd.  Mile 3 felt like the longest mile of my life.

Finally I could see the finish arch and new it was time to just turn on the power and give it everything I had.  Unfortunately, the finish was back in the damn soft sand!!  Enough with the sand!!  Trying to sprint through the sand was insane and next to impossible.  Hubby got a series of pictures at the end that show my feet barely leaving the ground.  I'm still not sure how I was making any forward progress.

Final run time 37:20.5.  Slower than I would have liked, but I'll take it all things considered.

Overall, the reason I'm glad I waited to write about this race is the time passing allowed me to remember the good parts and not just the run.  Unfortunately for me, the run is always the last leg.  And since its my most challenging, it provides the opportunity to have the end leave a bad taste in my mouth despite a successful swim and/or bike.  And that's exactly what happened this past weekend.  I finished feeling awful and only remembered the awful parts.

But a lot of good came out of this race.  I quickly acknowledged that I didn't give 100% the whole time.  I didn't finish with Zero Regrets.  I didn't give my best efforts.  And more uncomfortable than the run was the realization that I didn't leave it all out there.  Having race regrets felt worse than the worst run ever.  So that lesson was learned and I'm not likely to repeat it.

As I was typing this Hubby looked over my shoulder and said "Hey, you are really starting to look like an athlete in that picture."  While he might not always be the most tactful guy on the block, he has the best of intentions.  Good stuff after all.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

New Jersey Race Weekend Recap

Sometimes the traveling and fun associated with racing is deserving of a post completely separate from the race recap.  This past weekend was one of those trips.  My mother-in-law graciously agreed to fly into town and take care of Lil Buddy and Big N for the long weekend while Hubby, Big T, and I traveled to New Jersey for the Tri the Wildwoods sprint triathlon.  Friends and teammates Sara and Dave have a place in Cape May and agreed to let our unruly selves stay with them along with other friends and teammates Mindy and Don.

We headed up to NJ on Thursday via the scenic Lewes/Cape May Ferry.  The last time I was on the ferry was when we took the boys to Cape May 4 years ago.  I couldn't resist doing a couple of side by side photos to compare the 4 year difference.  Everyone is bigger.  Including Hubby's muscles!  Hehe.

It was such a nice treat to stay with others that were racing.  I was able to get into the race mentally by talking with them and it helped to alleviate some of my standard pre-race jitters.  Friday the group of 5 racers headed down to the beach for some open water swim practice in the ocean.  It wasn't that long ago that I was stumbling from the NC ocean in tears convinced that I would never be able to conquer the ocean.  With the help of supportive friends, a fantastic coach (thanks Dave!!) and a wetsuit, I had a great swim in the ocean with little to no fear of the waves and current.  Dare I say it was even.....FUN!

After the swim we primed our legs with a quick 20 minute bike along the bay.  Then we headed back home for a massive breakfast that Hubby cooked up while we rode.  Unfortunately, all was not rainbows and unicorns for me.

I've had some discomfort since a root canal that I endured about 2 weeks ago, but really thought nothing of it.  Until we were settling in on Thursday night.  The pain was getting pretty intense and I was self diagnosing and hoping for it to magically go away before Saturday's race.  No dice.  By Friday morning breakfast the pain was unbearable.  It appears to have been a nasty infection because I called the dentist and started taking another round of antibiotics at an accelerated pace.  The pain has subsided and become manageable.  But it really did screw with me mentally leading up to the race.

Friday afternoon included packet pickup, with personalized bib numbers, and some sunbathing at the beach.  Then we were early to bed for a 4 am wake up.

4 am came quickly but everyone was up and getting race ready without complaint.  Even Big T put on a smile as we dragged him out in the dark to head up to rack our bikes in transition.

I will save the details of the race for the formal race report, but let's just say that it had it's highs and lows.  A wonderful feature of this early morning beach start was the treat of walking down to the beach for a swim warm up while watching a truly spectacular sunrise.  Was an absolutely lovely start to the day.

photo credit Delmo Sports

After the race we all hung out on the beach while waiting for the official results and awards.  Dave took 2nd in his age group and 6th overall.  Mindy took 2nd in her age group as well.  And the rest of us all placed in the top 10 of our respective categories.  Not too shabby for the kids from Virginia.  It was so much fun to eat and hang on the beach for the morning before heading back for some relaxation on our beach.

Sunday brought us a recovery ride around the quiet beach town and some awesome photos with the ferry in the background.

Let me tell you.  I am so grateful for this trip and these people and Team Tri360 generally.  They helped me figure out that my bike seat was too low.  They explained how I should be using the gears on my bike to maximize power.  Don figured out my rear brake was rubbing and slowing me down.  All of this assistance guaranteed to lead to future SPEED!  It's nice to train and race with people that want to see me succeed as much as they want to succeed themselves.  The friendship and support is amazing and I'm so lucky to have it.  It was also a great weekend with Hubby and Big T.  They fished and played in the water on paddle boards and took a ton of awesome race photos for all of the racers.  Despite my dental nightmare, I loved every minute of this weekend and can't wait for a repeat opportunity.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Race Report: Crystal City Twilighter 5K

I've been chasing a 5K PR for 2 years.  My very first 5K I ran in a 32:12.  Then I got pregnant and I've been working my way back ever since.  I was hell bent on a PR at this race.  I always run better in the evening than I do in the morning, and this race was to be run at night.  At packet pickup they gave out a glow stick in addition to the standard bib number and t-shirt.  Since I knew I was going to have a fight on my hands when I got home with only one glow stick, I asked for a second - two kids of glow stick age requires...well, two glow sticks naturally.

Once the kids heard I was running AND that they got glow sticks, they decided they wanted to run it with me.  I love that it truly doesn't take much to get them to run with me - glow sticks, frozen yogurt, etc.  We headed down to the race site and got ready to run.  Note: one glow stick per kid.  More on that soon.

I had one thing on my mind and one thing only - tear this course up!  It is a flat out and back course with great speed potential.  As I am planning out my race strategy in my head and trying to loosen up my legs, the boys insisted that we go on the hunt for more glow sticks.  They have decided that one each is not nearly enough.  Unfortunately for them, packet pickup had run out and they were stuck with what they had.  Until Big N found one on the ground.  Now T was despondent.  N had 2 and T had 1.  Clearly this disparity was akin to the end of the world.  I told him to keep looking around for one on the ground, but once the race started they could not stop while running to pick any up because the runners behind them would trip over them and everyone would get hurt. 

Finally the horn sounded and we were off.  I took off at what felt like a race pace but I didn't look at my watch.  I really wanted to run on feel and not speed up or slow down based on the pace my watch displayed.  Pretty quickly I had a sneaking suspicion that I had gone out too fast.  I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to maintain this pace and might even put myself in the hole for the end of the race.  But T was keeping up with relative ease and I decided to just go for it. 

About a quarter of a mile in T looked at me and said, "Mom, you are a lot faster than you used to be.  I actually have to run to keep up with you now!"  Well, gee thanks kid!  But it was fun to see that someone, other than me, noticed that all of my hard work was paying off.  It was also around this time that I realized N wasn't with us anymore.  I wasn't worried as it was a well marked closed course and we had pre-designated the DJ tent as the after race meet up place in case we were separated.

At the 1.5 mile turn around I started looking for N amongst the runners behind us.  I saw him about a minute or two back huffing and puffing in misery.  But at least I knew that he was ok and making his way along.  It was around this point that I was starting to have serious concerns about my pace being too fast.  It was taking a toll and while I was still ok, I was starting to hurt.

At 2.25 miles I had to walk.  I think I would have had a heart attack if I didn't.  I had been maintaining a pace way too fast for me and I was cooked.  I only let myself walk long enough to bring my heart rate down a bit, then took it back up to a jog.  Walked one more time a few minutes later, but then it was all out down to the finishing chute.  It took me quite a bit to recover my breath and collect myself once over the finishing line. 

Once I looked at the data I immediately confirmed the problem.  Way too fast in the beginning and terrible pacing throughout.  Mile splits were 9:12!!!, 10:05, 10:49, and a pace of 8:52 for that last .1.  I got my PR with a final time of 31:52, but at what price?  I could have achieved that same time or faster with a more consistent and slower pace throughout.  Instead I was completely spent.  Once my coach saw the data his exact response was "This is not how we do business."  I know.  It sucked.

It was now time to watch for N to cross the finish.  And the minutes kept ticking by.  And no Big N.  Where was he?  Was he injured?  Was he kidnapped?  10 minutes later he came flying across the finish like lightening.  What took so long if he had all that speed?  He walks up with a grin bigger than his face and says "Mom!  Look!"  He pulls open his pocket and out pour a million glow sticks.  He trailed to the back of the race and started picking up all of the dropped glow sticks.  I've never seen the kid happier.  The boys quickly divided up the spoils and sported their new jewelry for the official race photo.

As we were driving home and I was contemplating the race, breaking down and analyzing my performance, and planning the PR celebratory conversation with Hubby and email with coach the boys were dissecting the properties and virtues of glow sticks, comparing how many each had and what they could do with them when they got home.  Childhood really is so much more simple and beautiful.  I took a photo in the car so they could see the glowing and they were thrilled that the picture made our lame minivan look like a limo.  Haha.  Life through the eyes of a child.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Tri360 August Athlete of the Month

Two years ago this month, I was rapidly approaching my very first triathlon - a super sprint in September 2012.  I was freaking out and focusing on the most important part - you know - what to wear!!  I didn't want to spend a lot on a fancy outfit (which I later learned was called a tri kit), but I didn't want to try to do the bike and run in just my bathing suit.  I figured that I probably wasn't supposed to strip down and change outfits in the open transition area.  So what to do?

I got online and looked up triathlon stores in Northern Virginia.  A store, that will remain nameless, popped up and I called and posed my uneducated question to the girl that answered the phone.  She was dismissive and unhelpful and left me feeling even dumber than when I first called.  Then I remembered reading that a new triathlon store was scheduled to open up in the area.  I found the article and called Tri360.  Blaine was incredibly supportive and helpful on the phone and encouraged me to stop by.  I went by shortly thereafter and, with the help of the store staff, left with my first pair of tri shorts.  Coupled with my bathing suit, those shorts got me through my first super sprint triathlon and I've been hooked ever since.  Not just to the sport, but to this fantastic retail store with all of the fun gadgets, trinkets, and essentials that make this sport fun.

Tri360 has gone out of their way, time and time again, to provide advice and support for all triathletes both new and veteran.  And no question is a dumb question.  When I was pregnant they researched and ordered a padded seat cover for my bike so I could ride on the trainer with more comfort.  And earlier this year they created Team Tri360 and opened membership up to anyone who wanted to train and race with the group.  It has connected me with all sorts of amazing athletes that are, in turn, informative and supportive as well.  From group training rides to runs to racing together, this team has taken my triathlon experience beyond just an exercising outlet.

So imagine my surprise, only 2 years in, with only a couple of races completed (baby in the intervening years put my racing on hold), when they asked to profile me for their Athlete of the Month.  I am honored and flattered to be included in this group of athletes, all with their own amazing accomplishments.  I never expected to be included - certainly not this early into racing.  And to some degree, it is still a surprise to be called an athlete at all.  

So without further blabbing from me, please check out my Athlete of the Month profile on their site.  And by all means, please shop there for all of your swim bike run needs!

Sunday, August 3, 2014

July Recap

Wow is it really August already?  Where has this year gone?  Back to school shopping is in full swing  and vacations are coming to an end.  We still have a weekend beach trip on our radar, but it seems like summer just started and its already almost over.

July was an extremely busy month for life, family, and training.  Let's see how everything stacked up.

Run 37.31 miles.  While I still enjoy running the least of the three disciplines, I made some major progress this month.  I had one four mile run that felt good the entire time and I PR'd at my most recent 5K.  I've been chasing that time for a while and to beat it felt good.  (More on that in my upcoming race report).  My running mileage is going to start increasing pretty significantly soon.

Bike  216.9 miles.  My first month over 200.  Some really good outdoor rides as well as killer workouts on the trainer.  The best part of indoor training in July was riding on the trainer while watching the Tour de France.  I would try to keep my legs moving as fast as those guys - what a workout!  And watching them suffer up all of the mountains certainly kept my efforts in perspective.

Swim  12.67 miles.  And this includes a number of missed swims because of either laziness or thunderstorms.  I'm finding it increasingly difficult to get motivated to swim at 8:30 at night even though I love the swimming and I love my masters group.  But by 8:30 I want to sit on the couch or go to bed.  Also, our indoor pool closes for lightning and/or thunder.  And we had a ton of storms in July.  Gave me a great (bad) excuse to skip my swim and have it not be "my fault."

Races Crystal City Twilighter 5K.  Race report coming soon.

Current Reads I'm still rotting my brain with young adult vampire romance, currently in the form of the Bloodlines series which is the spinoff from Vampire Academy.  I'm on the last book so I am going to have to turn back to quality fiction pretty soon.  These books have been such a great escape from real life.

Current Obsession Transitions.  I'm obsessed with how to make my transitions faster at my upcoming races.  I fall asleep going through transition in my head plotting out ways to do more tasks simultaneously and get in and out quicker.  Also, greek yogurt with berries, granola, and honey.  I have a huge bowl at least once a day.

Current Song Wild wild wildkrats, wild wild wildkrats....oh PBS kids.  Your little show themes are annoyingly catchy.

Current Need Comfortable running shorts.  My legs are way too thick for traditional running shorts and most of the spandex type ride up terribly.  No thank you chafing.  I just ordered a couple pairs of Spandits to try.  I've heard good things so hopefully these are the answer.  Also, I need to stop cursing.  I sound like a pirate and it's pretty ridiculous.  Lil Buddy is starting to mimic a lot of what we say and I don't need him picking up on my potty mouth.  The older boys are already a lost cause.  They know better than to repeat the words, but there's nothing they haven't heard at this point.

Current Triumph My fastest 5K time yet.  Again, race recap coming soon.

Current Bane of My Existence Laundry.  It never ends.  The sight of clean laundry that needs to be folded is enough to make me homicidal.  Irrational reaction you say?  Perhaps, but around here the folding never ends.

Current Goal Crush my next two triathlons.  I have one in August and one in September and I've been working hard and (mostly) sticking to my training plan.  I'm hoping to see the result at these races.

Current Excitement Big T has started travel baseball and has his first scrimmage today.  Big N is on the cusp of advancing to the next belt level at karate.  It is thrilling to see each of them making such fantastic progress and achievement in their respective sports.  Also, they have run two 5Ks with me in the last two weeks and we had a total blast both times.  Its a great way to spend time with them and continue to teach the importance of fitness.  Even if I do have to bribe them with glow sticks and enormous containers of frozen yogurt.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Doing it All - My Master Illusion

Last night I got all of my biking gear ready.  This morning I got up early, made breakfast and coffee, and headed out to meet up with a friend and her training group for a ride.  I was really looking forward to it - not only for a good ride, but to reconnect with this friend I haven't seen in years.  I made the hour drive and waited, and waited.  When she was 20 minutes late and not answering messages I realized something must be wrong.  It was.  I was there a day early.  The ride is tomorrow.

As I drove home I felt so devastated.  Sh*t happens and mistakes get made.  But I feel like I have so much crammed into my life that I don't have time for mistakes.  I don't have time for a 2 hour round trip mistaken car ride.  So when things like this happen my brain shuts down, the tears start flowing, and I lose all ability to focus and figure out how to salvage the day.  

When I took on triathlon training, Hubby and I talked extensively about how to prioritize the family activities.  Often I get asked "How do you do it all?"  And when I stop and think about it I have to laugh because I don't feel like I am doing it all.  I feel like the whole family rushes from one event to the next all the while feeling like every available finger is in a hole in the dam and we are one mis-schedule away from getting flooded.  One day last week I came home from work, immediately worked out, took Lil Buddy to swimming lessons, and then one of the big kids to an activity (I can't even remember what it was).  The next day I biked before work, came home from work to run, then dropped one kid at karate and the other at baseball.  Meanwhile, at home, Hubby is not taking classes this summer so he's on full time house duty - laundry, grocery shopping, dinner making, Lil Buddy supervision, etc.

We sort of review each week in advance generally, but then the night before and throughout each day we review the next day's plan, in detail, to make sure everything is covered.  We probably review each day at least twice.  It's kind of insane.  But it's the only way to make sure nothing gets missed.  Everyone gets their desired activity accomplished and everyone gets food and a bath.  Anything over and above that is bonus.  Hubby's football season starts in a few weeks.  My training will drop back some and scheduling will get even more micromanaged.  It's how we roll.  But making it look like it works seamlessly is a master illusion.  It's anything but seamless.  Its chaotic and exhausting.  I told a friend the other day I feel like I live in a washing machine.  I don't try to hide the ugly, I just don't want to dwell on it so I don't advertise it.

We could make our lives simpler.  We could take on less.  But who gives up what?  And would that cause resent and regret?  Until we can figure that out, we plod on.  In excruciating hour by hour detail.

As for today's mess up?  After I sobbed half the way home, I was able to figure out how to shuffle things around a bit.  Put my bike on the trainer and got in a light ride after all.  Made sure I had time for the group ride tomorrow and scratched tentative plans for a open water swim clinic being taught in the morning.  It isn't perfect, but it gets the job done.